Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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