So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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