I cannot find my penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
