i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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