If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
