he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
