Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
