The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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