Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
