so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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