No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
