I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
