Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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