I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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