last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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