some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
