Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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