It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
