the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
