Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
