Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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