Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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