Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize