make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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