Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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