I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize