We're facebook friends in real life
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
