Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
