its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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