I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
