I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
