I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
