If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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