Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Boobs speak an international language.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
