Im at strip club and am horny
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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