I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
