hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
