I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
