she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
