Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
