Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
