Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
