It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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