were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
