guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
