Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
