How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
