she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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