Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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