vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
