Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
