dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize