There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
