I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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