dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
