i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
