I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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