i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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