im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
