We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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