The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
