my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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