you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
